Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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