The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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