Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
