She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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