I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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