I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
