I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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