dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
