...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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