please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize