College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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