idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
