She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You did what with his pubic hair?
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