Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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