I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
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I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
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