Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
