I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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