well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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