a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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