Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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