is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
