Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
