Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
