I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I think i got beer on your cat.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
