3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
