So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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