it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish