Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo

  (810): View more from Michigan

  With himself

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  (810): I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo (810): With himself http://tfl.nu/5c4h
  Replies (1) Good night (852) Bad night (1035)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

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  (226): forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions. http://tfl.nu/kw3s
  Replies (15) Good night (7830) Bad night (1026)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.

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  (778): No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do. http://tfl.nu/1xvv
  Replies (16) Good night (4478) Bad night (650)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.

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  (806): You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you. http://tfl.nu/w13u
  Replies (48) Good night (2249) Bad night (3257)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times

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  (405): Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times http://tfl.nu/skpm
  Replies (8) Good night (3152) Bad night (856)
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  (518): View more from New York

  he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."

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  (518): he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials." http://tfl.nu/vm6j
  Replies (20) Good night (8881) Bad night (1634)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.

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  (402): He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house. http://tfl.nu/iz51
  Replies (9) Good night (1659) Bad night (3312)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video

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  (573): It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video http://tfl.nu/x1wo
  Replies (9) Good night (1402) Bad night (733)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.

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  (806): Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early. http://tfl.nu/6dqv
  Replies (7) Good night (1356) Bad night (878)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot

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  (270): The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys. (817): I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot http://tfl.nu/5unc
  Replies (2) Good night (1367) Bad night (666)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life

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  (219): googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life http://tfl.nu/fhns
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (1220)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.

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  (304): I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life. http://tfl.nu/wtpe
  Replies (6) Good night (691) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.

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  (413): Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens. (1-413): A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck. http://tfl.nu/qib0
  Replies (9) Good night (1416) Bad night (564)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?

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  (405): Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you? http://tfl.nu/1gun
  Replies (14) Good night (1002) Bad night (1117)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  This is why you are not allowed out in public.

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  (732): seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian. (908): This is why you are not allowed out in public. http://tfl.nu/xlma
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (303)

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