i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.