It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it