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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.

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• (585): View more from New York

  you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (313): View more from Michigan

  Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.

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• (951): View more from California

  Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!

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• (925): View more from California

  Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.

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