Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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