Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
