I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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