Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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