i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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