how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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