I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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