i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
