just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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