You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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