shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize