Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
