why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
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Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
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Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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