You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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