Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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