Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
