I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize