Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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