Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
