Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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