hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
