imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
