So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
