she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
