Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
