oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
