She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
