I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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