after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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