There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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