I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
