I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
