No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
