I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
