Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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