Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
