google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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