I'm jealous of your bromance
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
